The 53 Greatest Moments From “The Day Today”

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Everything that happened in the 1994 spoof TV show has since come to pass. PETER, YOU’VE LOST THE NEWS!

53. The Day Today brought us the news that no one else would touch.

The 53 Greatest Moments From "The Day Today"

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Such as wild animals being used to shut up noisy neighbours.

52. It gave us Brant, the world’s worst political cartoonist.

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51. And hospitals treating medieval ailments.

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Such as being a witch.

50. It gave us extensive news from across the pond.

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This man wanted to be executed on the toilet in order to pay homage to Elvis.

49. It gave us top tips on how to do home burials via its D.I.Y. strand.

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Yeah, that’s Graham Linehan – aka @Glinner – on the right.

48. It revealed exactly how far vicars were into bullying.

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Splendid way to greet a reporter.

47. It cared about the environment.

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The world was at her teat.

46. Its medical stories were without equal.

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That’s apparently a prosthetic pregnancy, although it looks surprisingly like a made-up drug to us.

45. It even used hi-tech graphics to explain how Libya stole Crete under cover of darkness.

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44. In fact, in the graphics department, it was unsurpassed.

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43. Youth television was well-represented.

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42. As was music.

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We’re unlikely to forget the time we learned that a strangely familiar grunge band was promoting feminine hygeine products.

41. And near-death experiences were portrayed with unerring accuracy.

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40. Back in the U.S., the stories got darker and darker.

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39. Members of parliament appeared to give their views on the major issues of the day.

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“Herman the Tosser is not someone who’s invaded my own particular consciousness,” said MP Paul Boetang after being asked about the “blood rap” movement.

38. In fact, the political coverage was as incisive as it gets.

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“It’s been revealed that the junior treasury minister Michael Portillo carries a sawn-off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks, and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals, claiming ‘As long as it’s got a backbone, I’ll do it’.”

“That story we reported last week, and have since discovered it to be untrue.”

37. While Alan Partidge made his TV debut as an indefatigable sports reporter.

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“It’s the 6.30 Queen Henry stakes, which is generally regarded as the litmus test for Derby form. Jockey folklore says that if you cock up the Queen Henry, you might as well ride the Derby on a cow.”

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Elsewhere, Two Headed Sex Beast failed to win.

36. Policemen appeared to complain about uniform shortages.

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35. While the issue of taking money out of the NHS was dealt with rather more literally.

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34. Sylvester Stewart always brought us the weather in dynamic fashion.

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And singlehandedly predicted the way every piece of weather coverage on TV would go.

33. The news was broken that Prince Charles was going into prison.

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“He’ll be staying at his mother’s pleasure.”

32. While Partridge learned to never trust a woman driver.

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“You certainly know how to handle this bitch.”

31. There was pioneering undercover journalism.

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30. Finance news was presented in a bold, innovative way.

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“A lot of pressure on the Bundersvessel.”

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In fact, a decade before anyone else noticed, it realised the world’s financial system was a load of arse.

29. It understood the surreal banality of football results.

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28. Peter O’Hanrahanrahan never actually managed to do any journalism.

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“Turn it 180 degrees, Peter. IN MY FAVOUR.”

27. We learned about the Royal Family’s plan to cull its staff.

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“It’s not known who conducted the killings.”

26. It reminded us of the shifting tides of public morality.

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“The 60s saw television breaking taboos again and again.”

25. We discovered the Underground was infested with horses.

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The appearance of another “blind tube mare” was “like an abattoir in a power cut.”

24. And watched a scintillating interview with Richard Branson.

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“Aaaagh aaaagh aaagh.”

23. We learned important information about road safety.

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“Is this cool?”“Is *this* cool?”“Is THIS cool?”

22. And the show even had a crisis correspondent for the really big issues of the day.

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“The history books will have to be rewritten.”

“What will they say?”

“They’ll quite simply say John Major punched the Queen, everything else will be a footnote.”

21. It invited the general public to speak their brains.

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And how perceptive they were.

20. The importance of citizen journalism was noted, well ahead of its time.

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“All bodily fluids shown are the ones that actually emerged at the time”.

19. Partridge continued to go places other sports reporters just wouldn’t.

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“What about the horse, how’s he handling?”

18. It alerted us to the dangers of bomb dogs.

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“Police then isolated the area containing the dog, and told the public to clear off.”

17. It informed us of a compelling soap opera set in a high class Bureau de Change.

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“NOT some two bit Punch and Judy show set on the seafront at Margate.”

The show proved so successful that they even took it on the road.

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16. Every look at the front pages was genius.

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Independent goes with “Portillo’s face felt like guts, said girl”.

15. It aired visions of an idyllic modern Britain.

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14. There was also the time Partridge tried Judo.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/the-definitive-ranking-of-every-scene-from-the-day-today

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