The Stages Of Giving Up Smoking
Lent, No Smoking Day – it’s the season of giving up evil habits. For anyone who’s ever tried to give up smoking, this will be a familiar story…
1. We all know smoking’s bad for you. Unfortunately, you are an expert at denial.
2. Then you work out how much money you spend on cigarettes every year…
A 20-a-day habit means you’re spending almost £3,000 a year?!
3. Fags thrown out, declaration made – no going back now.
4. You’re full of optimism – you can totally do this!
6. The air smells fresher, the sky looks bluer… You don’t need to smoke!
7. Until you find yourself walking behind a smoker…
8. Then the realisation of what you’re taking on begins to sink in…
9. You try to compensate by having more of your other daily pleasures – like strong black coffee – and realise that’s not the way to go.
10. Food? Maybe food. So you eat ALL THE FOODS.
11. After a couple of days of miserable gluttony, you try a healthy alternative to stem the cravings. It’s not a winner.
12. Of course, everyone’s got their own ‘helpful’ quitting tip they can’t wait to share with you.
13. “Cold turkey – it’s the only way to go!”
14. A few days in – the cravings have peaked and it’s getting tough.
15. At work, people cheerfully head out for a fag break – and you can’t join them.
16. People point out that you seem a little tense. In case you hadn’t noticed.
17. Words of encouragement from friends and family fill you with rage.
18. Some may say you’re being melodramatic, but the world seems unsettling and strange.
19. Everyday tasks are suddenly insurmountable challenges.
20. If only you’d never started smoking, you think.
21. You find yourself begging your smoking friends to let you have a quick drag (and not tell anyone…)
22. This quickly becomes an entire cigarette, which turns into a whole pack. And you know what? You’re HAPPY.
23. Until you realise you’ve just ruined your sans-cigarette personal best.
24. So you beat yourself up, throw out all smoking paraphernalia, and start again – feeling a little ashamed.
25. The realisation hits: you can’t do this on your own.
26. Time to trawl the Internet (with regular Buzzfeed breaks, obvs).
27. Suddenly, you find something that might just WORK.
Patches, knitting, holding a carrot instead of a cigarette – it’s just a matter of finding out what works for you. The British Heart Foundation’s No Smoking Day website is a great place to start.
28. Armed with your new strategy, you take on the fags again.
29. And this time, you feel FIERCE.
30. Eventually, you emerge from the hellish quitting battle as the victor.
31. The best part? When someone asks you if you smoke, and you can finally (and honestly) say NO.
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