Community Post: 16 Reasons Why The Real Santa Claus Is Actually Bruce Springsteen

1. The Boss obviously loves Christmas

The first and most important prerequisite to being the jolly old elf.

2. Springsteen bears a striking resemblance to Tim Allen

It’s obvious that Tim Allen’s character in The Santa Clause was inspired by the life of Bruce Springsteen

3. More than a few people have tried to imitate him

The Avett Brothers

Elvis Costello and Mumford & Sons

Vampire Weekend

Taylor Swift

4. Of course, there is only one real Santa Springsteen

Next step is Mall Springsteens

5. He’s a guest of honor at the coolest Christmas parties

You may have gotten a Kennedy Center Honor for your career in music, but also because you are Santa Claus, Mr. Springsteen.

6. Where ever he goes, he brings joy with him

7. He is well practiced in accomplishing a lot in one night

Springsteen’s longest show ever was 4 hours and 6 minutes long in Helsinki, Finland, which is pretty close to the North Pole. He played 33 songs and that is roughly equivalent to sliding down the chimney of all of the world’s Christians and/or Christmas celebrators.

8. He brings Santa impersonators on stage just to throw you off

I get it; you have to keep a low profile… but I’m on to you!

9. He’s hoping you find a Reason To Believe

This song is an obvious metaphor for his being Santa Claus (well, maybe not, but perhaps)

10. He’ll occasionally slip up and appear in costume

He can’t resist putting on that red stocking cap because he rocks that look!

11. The Boss has a lot of loyal elf supporters that always help him on his mission

I mean, what else could the E in E Street Band stand for?

12. He ages at an amazingly slow rate

Must be Christmas magic

13. Much like Santa Claus, Springsteen is Dutch in origin

I hardly think this a coincidence. In Dutch, “Springsteen” translates to “Jumping Stone.”

14. When he rocks the beard, it’s perfect

Just imagine that a little bit longer and a little bit whiter

15. He knows the true meaning of Christmas

Springsteen is one of the most generous musicians out there. If there’s going to be a benefit concert, chances are The Boss has top billing.

16. He always seems to know exactly what you want

No word yet on whether he sees you when your sleeping and knows when your awake, but, given that he’s Santa Claus, you can assume that he probably does.

Read more:

Leave a Reply

Translate »