25 Incredibly Creepy Things Everyone Does
1. Taking on someone’s accent while talking to them.
You’re not making fun of them, you just literally can’t help it.
2. Reading over someone’s shoulder.
How dare they turn the page before you find out what happened next.
3. Sniffing your own hair.
Mmmm. Smells like coconut. And so many French fries.
4. Sniffing someone else’s hair.
Smells like love, and creepiness.
5. Thinking your friend is right next to you but accidentally talking to a stranger.
“So then I told Cheryl, ‘That definitely wasn’t a squirrel,’ and she was like— Oh. Sorry, sir. I thought you were someone else.”
6. Thinking your boo is right next to you but accidentally holding hands with a stranger.
True story: When I was 8 or so, I held a strange man’s hand because I thought he was my dad, and he didn’t let go and I still haven’t fully recovered.
7. Hugging someone for too long.
Gonna need some indication of when this is supposed to end because it’s clear we have no idea what we’re doing, hug-wise.
9. Staring at a stranger while trying to figure out if it’s someone you know.
Is that Cheryl? She looks like Cheryl. Did Cheryl always have blue eyes? And a beard? Oh, wait, that’s a dude. It’s totally an old man. That’s not Cheryl.
…But it MIGHT be?
10. Or staring into space and realizing you’ve been gazing at a stranger for an uncomfortably long time.
Quick, look at literally anything else.
11. Pretending to take a selfie so you can snap a picture of a hot person behind you.
12. Seeing a friend of a friend tagged in a Facebook photo, and spending way too much time going through that person’s albums.
There’s no reason you need to see this person’s family trip to Disneyland, and yet here you are.
13. Hovering outside a circle of people talking, not sure how to enter the conversation.
Maybe you’ll just stand here forever. Maybe this is where you’ll stand the rest of your life.
14. Overhearing a joke in someone else’s conversation and laughing.
You weren’t eavesdropping. Technically. The joke traveled to you, not you to it.
15. Thinking back to something funny and laughing to yourself in public.
Maybe you can pretend you were coughing? Or choking?
16. Making a suspicious sound while sitting.
…and needing everyone to know it wasn’t you, it was your chair.
17. Insisting you maintain a firm grasp on your phone when showing it to someone.
You’re not hiding anything. You’re just hiding everything.
18. Telling someone you wish you had their _____.
I wish I had your hair. In a little box. Under my bed.
19. Peeking into people’s windows when you see them lit up at night.
Like, from the street. Peeking from the bushes would be something beyond creepy (illegal).
20. Calling someone and then hanging up.
Which was somehow both creepier and far less creepy before caller ID.
21. Falling into a Wikipedia serial killer spiral.
You started off looking up Stephen Tobolowsky, and now you know every single thing about John Wayne Gacy.
22. Being really, really into a celebrity.
Did you know that Stephen Tobolowsky’s middle name is “Harold” and he has a podcast called The Tobolowsky Files and he just added a bluebird house in his backyard? Did you?!
23. Accidentally revealing that you already know a lot about someone because you’ve googled them.
“So, yeah, and then I left Texas and went to Rutgers.”
“I know. *sudden panic* I mean…”
24. Clicking on a link to a story you know you’re going to regret.
I don’t know why you did that, either, but the person who just walked behind you now thinks (knows?) you’re really weird.
25. Combing through someone’s old Instagram photos and accidentally liking one.